Sorry,....rant coming!!!!

This morning my left shoulder was in extreme pain. I saw my pain doc in at 10 AM and I asked him for better pain control. I was a little worried about asking him because I have never asked him for this type of help before. I would have liked to have askd him for pain meds but nothing that I have to take all the time. Only when I needed it. I didn't want to be seen as a drug seeker (as we all have that fear) so I was worried about asking him.
Isn't a shame that us CPers have to worry about asking doctors for help?
Well, here is what happened....
I went to my appointment and I got my depo-medrol shots in my shoulder which helped and all he would give me is a medrol pak. He wouldn't help beyond that. Sigh. He all but said that the pain is in my head. Which made me upset...like I wasn't crying already from the pain.
Yes, it kinda shocked me that he said that. They (he and his nurse) kept going on about pondering why I was feeling so bad. It was anything from stress from the holidays, to being depressed (of course I was I was upset because I hurt so darn bad!), to the weather. They tried to get me to take neurontin again, but I said no way because I gained 50 pounds on it and was on 1800 mgs a day that did nothing. He then asked if I had been on Cymbalta, I said yes and it didn't work out for me. I think to get me out of his hair, he gave me the medrol pak. Sad huh. But he is the only pain doc that will see me. Don't know what to do next if I choose to stop seeing him.
I am having pain in my SI joint, which is causing the majority of my pain, and I think I need a doc that specializes in that area to take a look at me and see what is going on there.
UGH! Why is it when you feel the worst the doctors seem to become more of a hinderance than a help?
As time has gone on....here is where the rant begins.....
He juices me up twice a month with Depo-Medrol which is like a band-aid on a small piece of pain when my entire body is dying at times from it. For the first time since I have seen him which was a year in September, I have asked for this kind of help. And he gives me 7 days of oral steroids, which I am not sure will do anything right now. I have had 2 ESIs, 2 facet injections and one radio frequency ablation. Basically everything short of surgery. None of which has worked.
The ONLY meds he has prescribed for me are Lidoderm patches, baclofen, trazodone and now the medrol pak. He has in the past tried mexitil, which again didn't work. Everything just a band-aid he is doing. I feel that he is milking the system for money. Since I am on Medicare, he can string me along for as long as I let it happen.
Today has made me realize that he can do no more for me than he has already done. And won't do anymore. He made that perfectly clear on that account today.
What do I do??? Where do I go from here?
I know my pcp is uncomfortable with giving pain meds and usually refers me to my rheumy, who is in the same practice. Who also won't do pain meds. Living where I do, near a city where some of the best health care in the world is to be had, I can't get a doctor to help me!!!!! I am at a loss.
I have done everything they have asked of me. Did physical therapy twice in a year. Done a Functional Capacity Evaluation to show that I am unable to function at a "normal" level. Gone through immensely painful procedures to get a glimpse of a possibility of help with my pain. I don't complain. I never call the doctor's office and be a nuisance. I am kind, friendly and never skip an appointment.
All I want is to live in a resonably comfortable existance physically. I would like to function somewhat normally. Geez, listen to me....I would like this, I would like that.....I guess it is not meant to be. I am being forced to live in pain at levels that most people would go to the hospital or stay home from work for. They get the attention and medication they need. While I and some of you are here in pain crying for help. We can't even take an ibuprofen without getting a slap on the wrist for doing so. Some side effect or whatnot.
Okay, getting off my soapbox now! I don't feel better but at least I got it out!